Much of our society focuses on the sexist dichotomy that “women need emotional connections but men just want sex,” ignoring that men need emotional intimacy too.
Men, like women, can suffer from two forms of loneliness:
* Social Loneliness, a lack of social network, &/or
* Emotional Loneliness, the absence of close emotional relationships.
Both types of loneliness are common, often existing at the same time. And high levels of success and wealth does not make a man immune to either of them, largely because loneliness is a feeling and therefore a matter of perception.
Isolation from others often leads to negative feelings, dejection and rejection, a loss of self worth and/or depression which then insulates them from the support of family and friends, makes them feel ill at ease or unworthy of forming new relationships. This not only adds to the overall problems of position, but makes a man feel that his only worth is his job, making him not only hide in his work, but desperate to maintain a nose to the grindstone mentality to prove he has some worth.
But competition keeps workplace relationships guarded. Careers which demand travel and/or require long hours often result in isolation from family and friends, even a loss of camaraderie with co-workers. Men who have sacrificed for career success and job security might find themselves alienated from their families — the very folks they sacrificed for!
Even the men who don’t fall for the “men don’t get lonely” myth, men who would feel comfortable discussing their feelings, find that the physical distance of hotel rooms and late hours have created an emotional distance, and they’ve no close confidant to talk to about those feelings. Sometimes there’s even the fear that they’ll lose the respect of the few who are close, that their loneliness will be seen as a personal failure, so they don’t dare say a thing about the emptiness they feel. And, of course, men are so good at compartmentalizing (or “hiding”) their feelings, that those who are close might not even see signs of loneliness.
Loneliness not only is compounded by stress, but lonely people are less apt to manage daily stressors well. And lonely people also do not get enough adequate sleep. So is it any surprise that loneliness leads to health problems?
According to MensHealth.com:
A man who is socially isolated has a relative risk of death between two and five times greater than one with better social connections. Why that is, scientists don’t know. Social isolation is deadly, and not just in America. In France, the leading cause of death among middle-aged men and women is cancer. In the 1990s, a Harvard study of social integration and mortality among French subjects found that the men who were most isolated were 3.6 times as likely to die of cancer as their well-connected peers.
(We Peck & Call Girls aren’t scientists, but we do believe in the power of human connection as a powerful life force. Science may not be able to quite put its finger on why — but the evidence is there.)
There’s a reason they say, “It’s lonely at the top.” It can be. But let us join you there — or let us “top” you, even. *wink*
Let us be the companions that fit in your schedule, on your terms — the companions you can confess to, connect with.
After all, it’s for your health and well being!
Virtual courtesans as discreet -- or flamboyant -- as you desire.
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